One Year

February 1st.  Chad's one year anniversary with his new job.  

February 5th.  One year ago, we moved into our new home in Missouri.

It's crazy to think that a year has went by already.  I vividly remember the feeling I had leaving Nebraska.  Thinking that there was no way I could do this.  No way I could move 5 hours away from my family and friends.  Wondering how I was ever going to survive outside of my comfort zone.  

It's strange to recall the events leading us here.  Almost like I was not really there...but more like we were observers of this chaos called, Our life.  

The day I went to pick up the kids from their school.  Their last day.  It was gut wrenching.  So many tears.  I was crying.  The kids were crying.  Friends were crying.  Teachers were crying.  We. were. a. mess!!  Every part of my being was screaming DON'T GO!!!   But, we did.  

We slowly found a routine.  A new normal.  A new life.  And now...

Life is good.  No.  Life is GREAT!!  We are better than ever!  

Learning to live in the moment and love where you are at has been the answer to my prayers.  Change is definitely not easy.  But, it can be the exact thing you never thought you needed.  

I Remember

It almost seems unreal that 9 years have past since the day our country changed forever.  We all get busy in our day to day lives and the next thing you know another year has gone.  In our home, we keep the soldiers and their families close to our hearts and always in our prayers, not just today.

But, for today I recall and relive the moment I first heard of this terrible event.  I was working at the retirement center in Omaha.  It was shortly after I arrived at work and someone had told us to turn the t.v. on in the office.  I can't really explain my fear as soon as we saw what had happened.  No one said anything.  We just stood there staring.  The first tower went down and then the second.  Still nobody said anything.  There were tears.  And silence.

All I remember thinking was that I needed to call Chad.  And, I need to call my mom.  I felt like I needed to be close to them, or just to hear their voice, something.  So I did.  I called Chad and he hadn't heard anything about it yet.  So, he turned on the radio at his work and we just sat on the phone together.  Saying nothing.  What do you say in a moment like that?  I called my mom too.  Just to hear her voice.  Not a lot of talking, but I felt better just having her on the other end of the line.

As the days, weeks and months passed we have kept those images in our head, but more so in our heart.  Those families had no idea that on that day their lives would forever be changed.  We have changed too.  For the better, I hope.

We spent a lot of time together.   We focused on what was important to us.  Our family, our friends and each other.  Apparently, Chad and I were spending plenty of time together...I was pregnant 2 months later.  
A baby.  In a world of uncertainty and fear it seemed like not such a good plan, but it was.  A symbol that life does go on.  We celebrate a new day, a new life.

We move on. 

But not without remembering.  

Home is where your heart is.

How long has it been?  Almost 4 months since we moved to Missouri.  A moment in time that I do not wish to re-live.  Our world turned upside down.  Our kids and I moving away from a home that we had known our entire lives.  Nebraska.  Born and raised.  That was it.  Why leave?  A lot of our family is there.  Our life was wrapped up in this one place.  It was just...well, home!  

Then, life happened.  I'm not sure where I came to believe that life is all sunshine and lollipops.  But, during those difficult months leading up to our move, it was anything but.  A lot of tears, questions that wouldn't be answered and sleepless nights.  But, most of all, so many unknowns.  And, if you know me, unknowns are not something I enjoy.  I am a planner.  Months ahead.  I want scenarios & solutions with each.  

Slowly, but surely the answers and plans began to fall into place.  Chad started his job.  The house went on the market.  The movers came.  Our stuff was packed and moved to Missouri.  Then it was the kids and I that followed.  The kids began at their new school and life was back to a semi-normal state.  Just one small difference...We're not in Nebraska anymore.  

The first month was actually okay.  We were so busy just trying to get settled that we didn't have time to think about what had just happened.  An adventure.  Month number two was my least favorite.  The unpacking was done and it was starting to sink in.  A sad month.  The third month was starting to show signs of normalcy.  Kids sporting events, work, school and normal daily to-do's.  A busy month.  And now, we are almost done with our fourth month here.  A month of day trips around Missouri, approaching summer vacation for the kids, and just plain happy days...like before!  A happy month!!

I'm not for sure how I got here, but I'm happy.  I have become very fond of our new town.  A small, simple way of life.  Different than Nebraska, absolutely.  But not worse.  Just different.  I am trying to embrace life's lessons and hoping our kids embrace them too.  We'll enjoy the opportunities to experience life together, wherever that may be.